Jokes

1
Two blonds are walking down the street when the first blond finds a compact on the sidewalk. She opens it up and inside the compact is a mirror. She looks into the mirror, then looks away. She looks into the mirror a second time. Confused she says to the second blond, "I'm not sure, but I think this person in the compact looks very familiar". Curiously the second blond asked to see the compact. She looks into the compact and hands it back to the first blond and says, "It's me you dumb shit!"
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2
Three pregnant ladies, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are talking about their pregnancy. The brunette says, "I’m having a baby boy because when my husband made love to me I was on the bottom."The redhead says, "Then I’m having a girl because I was on the top."Then the blond looks at them both and says, "I’m having a puppy!"
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3
A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery."The wife says, "Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?He says, "I don't care. Just get the fuck out."
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